


Jake Muller's Journal

by MiroMoka_Chan



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, Awkward Romance, Bio Organic Weapons | B.O.W.s (Resident Evil), Diary/Journal, F/M, Falling In Love, Fights, Fist Fights, Fluff and Angst, Game: Resident Evil 2, Game: Resident Evil 6, Love, Love Confessions, Money, Post-Resident Evil 2, Post-Resident Evil 6, Slow Romance, Zombies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:35:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26464255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiroMoka_Chan/pseuds/MiroMoka_Chan
Summary: "I guess this is gonna be where I write shit down about my daily life. I might be busy takin' on jobs most of the time, but I'll do my best to get somethin' written eventually."
Relationships: Sherry Birkin/Jake Muller
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

_November 10, 2019_

_For a long time there had been one thing on my mind. One thing and one thing only._

_Money._

_Money seemed to be the best god damn thing in the world; maybe even the most powerful thing. It was the one thing that people seemed to desperately crave. They would do just about anything to get their hands on it. To think that a measly, weak, thin piece of green paper or metallic coins of different sizes and colors could mean so much to the world..._

_I guess my obsession with money began when I was eleven or twelve years old. My mom got sick... Had some really bad sickness. Might have been cancer or somethin', I don't remember. Anyway, the reason why I wanted-- needed the money was to help my mom get better. You know, save up enough money to find a doctor that would work on her. For a while, it worked. I took up all kinds of jobs, savin' up money to get a doctor to check on her and to get the medication she needed, just to make sure I could keep her from feeling the pain. So she wouldn't have to suffer as much... It was hard coming home every evening to her crying. Even worse when she seemed to lose her memories of everything; lose herself. The worst nights were after I'd turned seventeen, when she would look at me with a look of confusion and then suddenly she'd show me a warm, loving smile._

_Those smiles weren't the type for a child, no. I'd seen the type of smile made for lovers. People who were married and shit. She'd keep muttering some name I couldn't really hear. Started with an "A." It didn't make any sense to me back then, but now it does. Mom was always muttering my father's name. She must have kept seeing that piece of shit in her hazy minded state. It got to the point where she couldn't recognize her own son anymore and she would just look at me with that smile._

_..._

_Why the hell did she even care for that bastard? He didn't do shit for us. He left her before I was born, left her in Edonia to freeze and fend for herself. Left her without any means of keeping herself alive, but the joke was on him. My mother was a strong, smart woman depsite her thin appearance. She was able to balance four or five different jobs and even after she had me, she still handled shit on her own like a champ. I guess I've always hated my father for abandoning her. I didn't give two shits that he didn't care enough to meet me, but to leave a pregnant woman by herself? Way to go, dad. You must be somethin' really special, huh?_

_Anyway, enough about that prick. Let's get back to talking money. The morning finally came when my mom passed away. It was early in the morning and I had gone out on a job. A neighbor had come to visit and had run outside, down the streets, and went straight to the town's doctor. He said he wasn't going to come help her because he was fucking tired. He was too god damn tired to get his ass out of bed and help a dying woman. I remember when I got home, I had come in with a grin on my face, envelope with three hundred and forty-six dollars in my hand, and her medicine in a package in my other and... I saw my neighbor and his wife standing in my mom's bedroom._

_She had passed away while I was out._

_I was so angry with myself because I wasn't with her when she died._

_...I wasn't with her._

_It took me months to get rid of the emotions. Well, they never really go away. Shit like that never really goes away. It's always been with me. Anyway, after I was sort of in the right state of mind, I left that house and that town and joined a mercenary group. Decided I'd start fresh with a new job. For the first few months I was there, I got my ass kicked pretty good. Got in trouble a lot, too, but I learned what I needed to and became the expert I am today._

_Money had meant everything to me and I was just taking jobs because I could-- because money was a big part of me. It had meant everything to me before I met her._

_Supergirl Sherry Birkin._

_At first, I thought she was a preppy, little girl who thought she knew everything, but I was proven wrong as we worked together. Found out that my group had been infected with the C virus and they transformed into some pretty nasty monsters. At first I thought they were cutting me out of the deal, but no. They wanted to kidnap me to experiment on because I had some sort of special blood type. Turned out I got that immunity to crazy viruses because dad had the same thing. At least I got something good from him besides my mom. Thanks for that,_ dad _._

_The next few months we spent together, she made me feel something I hadn't in forever; Hope. I felt like I could do anything when I was with her, felt more like a man than a...well, mindless killer. I also found that I wanted to protect her, no matter what. I didn't care what got in my way. I was going to keep her safe even if it meant giving my own life. She made me feel something else I had never experienced before and, to be honest, I'm still not sure what it is. I hope one day I can figure it out._

_Speaking of Supergirl, I'll never admit it out loud, but... I...kind of miss her. I miss her bossiness and the way how she would place her hand on her hip to scold me and her blonde hair and her... Uh. Nevermind. I'll just get this shit finished. Supergirl, if you happen to find this, then I didn't mean to be such an asshole to you when we met. I'm sorry. ...Thank you for giving me hope again and I hope we don't have to wait for too much longer to see eachother. I hope that you're safe and not doing anything stupid._

_Well, I guess this is the end of this journal entry. Haven't had one of these in a while and hopefully I won't lose it anytime soon._

_Jake_


	2. Chapter 2

_November 12, 2019_

_"I hate days like these._

_These types of days where I don't have to do shit. Just sit around all day and not do a damn thing._

_People say I should relax more and sure, I like to relax some days. Hell, I need to sometimes, but what I hate is having to relax or sit around for too long. I always gotta do something or I just don't feel right, you know? I always think if I stay in one place for too long then there's a chance I can get attacked and hit the dirt as a forever resting place. Maybe it's the merc in me makin' me feel this way... Always on edge. Always in danger._

_Since I got nothin' to do, I guess I'll just keep writing in this journal._

_God, I'm not really good at this shit--writing my thoughts down... Well whatever. Here goes nothing._

_It's fuckin' cold outside. It's so cold that I could have freaking ice cycles comin' out my nose. While I was outside, my eye lashes were practically frozen together. I had bits of snowflakes all over me and my fingers were so cold that it hurt to move 'em when I needed to. Well, to be honest, the cold never really bothered me 'cause I grew up in it, yeah? Had no heating system when I was growing up. I only had my own body heat and one or two torn up blankets. When I was a little older, my mom would always try to make me get her blanket, too, but I would refuse 'cause I didn't want to make her freeze to death. I remember when I was real young, before she got sick, she would lie to me and tell me she didn't need any blankets to keep her warm. I'd always wake up in the middle of the night and check on her only to find her shakin' like a leaf, curled in her bed. I'd go grab all of my blankets and throw 'em on her and I wouldn't leave her side till she'd stop shakin'. Then I'd lay down on the floor and stay there with her during the rest of the night to make sure she didn't freeze anymore. I didn't mind being cold if it meant she would be warm enough to sleep. After all, she worked all day, everyday, and I would be at home most of the time._

_I'm in some fancy hotel room. The place is pretty nice and has air conditioning and running electricity and honestly it's way too fancy for me. There was a fuckin' towel folded up as a penguin on my bed. Like the hell? Who the hell gives a shit about what their towel looks like? Just give it to me so I can use it to dry off. The walls are all a dark red, the floor is a pale, tanned colored carpet, and the doors are the same color as the carpet. There's three fancy paintings of flowers and some of the other buildings that can be found in the town hangin' up in the bedroom, bathroom, and small lounging area. The bed has tan bed sheets and pillow cases and the blanket is a dark red-- almost the same color as the walls. There's a television placed on the dresser across from the foot of my bed, but I'm not gonna bother watching it. Never liked watching television, anyway. There's a big window on the right side of my bed. The drapes are the same color as the walls and the glass on the outside has frost covering most of it._

_I'm only stayin' in this place 'cause a lady I was working for told me she was gonna pay for my stay while I'm in this small town. I finished a job for her two days ago. Had to kill some high and mighty prick who thought he'd win a mayor election by sending BOW's out to terrorize the town. He thought he could win by sending out military personnel to dispose of the monsters and pretend that he was the good guy. I hate people like that, who pretend to be somethin' they aren't just to get something they want. I'm not sure when I'll be getting another job. That's why I'm not leaving yet. Hopefully I'll get one soon so I can get the hell outta here and start movin' again. These jobs take me all over the world and I think I enjoy seeing the sights, culture, and people as much as I like taking up assignments. I really love tryin' new food and drinks, like different types of coffee._

_Damn, coffee sounds good right about now..._

_Just sat down on my bed and got me a cup of black coffee while I was up. Took a quick shower to warm me up, too, and I kinda felt bad messin' up the penguin towel. Wonder how long it took the staff to fold it like that? Well, whatever. I bet they already have tons of others made that way, too. They gotta wash and dry the towels anyway. Got my pajamas on, also. Just a pair of navy blue, cotton pants. I never wear a shirt cause it's just uncomfortable wearing one when I sleep. Doesn't matter how cold it is, I still get too hot and sweat like a dog._

_What else to write...?_

_...._

_Lookin' outside the window now as I gulp down my drink. It makes me warm up from the inside and so do a few memories. On days like these, where I don't have to do anything, all sorts of memories flood to the front of my mind. Good ones, bad ones..._

_All of 'em._

_Used to, when I'd look out of a window while it was snowing, the snow would always remind me of my mom--and it still does, sometimes. Though, now when I see the snow... It reminds me of Sherry. It reminds me of the first day we met and how we had to survive together. I thought she was a preppy, know-it-all bitch who couldn't do a damn thing, but man, did she prove me wrong. She could beat the shit outta anyone and anything that got in her way and I bet she would have done the same to me if she had to._

_I remember when Ustanak, the crazy fucker, had shot down our helicopter and we landed in the snow. Somehow, we had survived the fall even though our parachute had gotten torn by the metal debris. I had blacked out and woken up to Sherry laying on top of me. My brain woke up real quick when I had lifted my hand to find it was covered in blood and I hurriedly got myself out from under her. My heart was pounding rapidly against my chest and a cold sweat came over me as I began to panic when I saw she had a piece of metal sticking out of her back. On the inside, I was freaking out 'cause some chick I just met was about to die in front of me. I kept thinking how it should have been me who should have had the shrapnel lodged into my back. Not her. Not some innocent woman. I doubt she had done anything bad in her life, while I had done all kinds of horrible shit..._

_She surprised me when she told me to pull it out of her and I thought she was nuts when she just begged me to do it. So I did. I pulled the thing outta her, tossed it to the side, and as I was about to start ripping pieces of clothing to make some sort of bandage, I was shocked to find her skin and muscles pulling themselves back together._

_I gotta admit, that shit freaked me the hell out._

_After a while I got used to it. It was just part of her and something that helped formed her personality. I think she hated having it, though. Probably 'cause it reminded her of her parents and the shit she had to go through as a kid. I never asked her about it, though._

_I hope she's doing okay these days. Hopefully she isn't doin' anything stupid or getting herself into trouble. It's been seven years since I've last seen or heard from her. ...I wonder if she even remembers me._   
_~~Well if she doesn't then it won't bother me. I couldn't care less if she remembers me or not.~~ _

_....._

_F U C K !_

_I spilled my fuckin' coffee all over me and my journal-! Son of a fuckin' bitch! Damn this shit burns like he--_

_...._

_The coffee has dried finally and now I can end this entry. God dammit. Didn't think I'd get so sidetracked while thinkin' about Supergirl. Spilled my own drink all over me and I had to change my pants. Now there's a big coffee stain over a few pages. Oh well. So long as I can still write in this thing. That's all that matters to me._

_Well, the sun is goin' down and I think I'm gonna get some shut eye. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get a new client so I don't have to stay here and get stuck in my memories for too long._

_Jake"_

_《_ You find some extra writing on the back of the page. It appears to have been scribbled over by three continuous, messy lines _.》_

_~~"I need to stop thinking about her. Need to stop worrying about her so much. I'm sure she's doin' fine and has some pretty boy helping her out and giving her everything she could wish for. You can't give her everything she wants and you sure as hell can't stay by her side cause you gotta work. You don't wanna be like dad and leave her alone for the rest of her life... Besides, you're not good enough for her. She needs someone better than you. Time to move on, Jake....Even if you can't stop thinking about her. Dammit go to bed."~~ _


	3. Chapter 3

_ November 14th, 2019 _

_ "Just finished a job in Africa.  _

_ It took me like a month to get rid of some nasty B.O.W.s. but I did it. _

_ While I was in an old base, I found a bunch of paperwork and business cards and shit. Walked into one room that was all rusted metal and there were broken canisters that had broken glass around 'em on the floor and some wilted, dead flowers. I guess they might have been red or orange when they were alive, but I wasn't too bothered by it. The computers in the room were smashed or dead and the two doors had been left wide open. On the walls in the hallways was dried up splatters of blood and large claw marks, most likely belonging to some B.O.W.s. that had been alive at one point.  _

_ There was this black briefcase hidden under some old debris. It took me a while, but I got it out from all the concrete debris. I opened that sucker up, somewhat hopin' there would be money left in it, but no. This thing had all kinds of passports and other stuff hidden away in different, secret pockets. Like, whoever this guy was, he was pretty damn prepared for anything. There was also a smaller, silver briefcase and when I opened it, all I found were four syringes. They were silver and the liquid inside 'em was red, aside for some black shit mixed into it. I looked over each one and the only things written on them were "PG67A/W," warnings, and somethin' called Tricell.  _

_ I put the syringes back in the case and shut it just so I wouldn't get infected. Well, I mean, I doubt it would've done anything to me anyway thanks to my blood type, but whatever. Still ain't gonna lemme touch that shit unless I have to. Looked back in the black luggage and found a black, leather book in the very bottom. If I didn't have such a good eye for details, I would've missed it. Just barely saw the outline of white under the worn cover of it. I picked that sucker up and opened it to the first page. _

_ It was blank aside from some black ink stains coverin' it. _

_ Everything about the book made me feel...wrong. It just felt wrong and somethin' in the back of my head kept tellin' me not to turn the page; to just throw it back into the briefcase and leave all the shit I'd found there on the floor and to leave that place. After all, something went down in that place. There was broken glass and dented walls and it just looked like there had been a war in it.  _

_ Me being me, I turned the page and started reading its contents. The writing was real neat, almost as neat as mine, and everything in the first few pages were mostly about Africa and how its people would be perfect test subjects for something called "Uroboros." There was a lot written about Uroboros, whatever it was. From the way it was made, to notes on how it affected people, to how it could help or kill people. Turned out it was some virus and there were pictures tucked in between the pages and they were horrifying. Sure, not the worst thing I'd seen, but I sure as hell wouldn't wanna run into someone infected with it. _

_ Then I saw it. Saw the name. _

Albert Wesker _. _

_ I take back what I said about paying attention to details. It had faded on the first page cause of the ink. _

_ My chest got real tight and I didn't really know what to feel. I felt a weird numbness come over my body, but I could still feel things and move. Had a cold sweat come over me, too, as I turned back to where I left off in the notes. Part of me wanted to stop reading and burn the journal. Make it and everything else associated with that bastard go away, but I just couldn't stop myself. I couldn't stop reading it, even though I knew they were his notes in his handwriting.  _

_...My handwriting is so fuckin' similar to his.  _

_ Even as I'm writing this down, I want to change the way I write just so I don't have to be reminded of him. ...I guess there's nothin' I can do about it now 'cause I've always written like this.  _

_ Why did I have to be born as the son of some insane shithead like Albert Wesker?  _

_ If you were still alive, dad, I'd beat the h e l l outta you. I'd make you regret ever leavin' mom behind to fend for herself, to take care of me all alone. I'd make you apologise to her grave over and over again till you couldn't fuckin' speak. Then after you were done, I'd still beat the shit outta you just 'cause I fuckin' could. If you ever came back alive and we ever met, I'd wanna kill you over again. I'd make it slow and painful. I'd cut all your limbs off so you couldn't do anything. I'd pull your eyeballs from their sockets, pull all your teeth out from your skull, and chop off your dick so you couldn't have anymore bastards like me; so you couldn't leave other weak mothers behind. I'd make you suffer like you made all those innocent people suffer by makin' them infected. Like how you made mom suffer all alone for so many years.  _

_ I'd make you wish you'd never been fuckin' born! _

_..... _

_ I kept dad's journal. It's still with me and I read a little bit more of it. It was like he took a complete u-turn and stopped writing notes and actually started writing about his life. Ever since I first found out Albert Wesker was my father and the things he did, I always wondered why he wanted to destroy the world in the first place. _

_ I mean how fucked up in the head do you have to be to even remotely think about doing somethin' like that? _

_ Dad was ready to kill millions of people just to make some delusional wish of his come true. To him, he'd be rebuilding the world. He'd wanted to rule over the new world. _

_ I gotta wonder why, though. _

_ Why did this man want to do it in the first place? _

_ I think that maybe, maybe somewhere in the back of his mind, dad wanted to feel...wanted. Maybe he was lonely in some way. I mean that could explain one reason why he wanted to do it--So he wouldn't be alone. Then again, maybe he really was just a crazy motherfucker who lost his marbles. If he was lonely, then maybe he wouldn't have left mom behind, or maybe he just needed to get some stress out by using her one or two nights. _

_ Who the hell knows.  _

_ All I know is that shit happened in the past and I am not responsible for anything Albert Wesker did. I'm not gonna be like my father. I'm not gonna take his last name, cause it doesn't belong to me. _

_ My name is Jake Muller and I'm gonna write my own god damn story. I'm only gonna kill people who deserve it, but more importantly, I'm gonna protect the people who I care about. _

_ So, I hope you like burnin' in Hell, dad, and I hope you're getting what you deserve for everything you've done. _

_ Jake Muller" _


	4. Chapter 4

_ November 22nd, 2019 _

_ "I went back to Edonia. _

_ Had a job to do there and got it done pretty quick. I just had to take down some leftover Umbrella projects; people that had been infected by the C-Virus back in twenty thirteen. They weren't people anymore. Some had a shit ton of eyeballs on their heads, others had been mutated so much that nobody could recognise 'em. Must've sucked for the group of men that went with me when they'd seen their family members or friends comin' up to try to kill them. The ones who did know certain infected persons were shocked and just stood there, lookin' like they'd seen a damn ghost. I'd either had to kill the B.O.W.s or yell some sense into the men to the point they'd realized what was goin' on and then killed the attacking creature 'fore they died themselves.  _

_ Fuckin' morons.  _

_ Though I guess I can understand why they'd freak out or stand as still as a statue from the shock of seeing a loved one infected. Before, I probably wouldn't have given a shit and let the dumbasses die, but now it's different. Even though I don't really care for most people, I still care enough to help them. You know? _

_ Decided to stop by the town I grew up in and saw more than a few familiar faces. Like me, most of those people had gotten older. None of 'em recognized me and I guess I don't mind it much. They never bothered to get to know me anyway. The quilt shop and bakery both still looked the same. They were both still small and the same little old couple that kept 'em still ran the two little businesses. The pub across the street from them had been upgraded. Had two upper floors added from what I could tell. The butcher had all kinds of wrinkles, had lost all his hair, and was still as fat as ever. He had a daughter workin' with him, too, since the wife died before I was born.  _

_ Snowflakes were still falling and piles of snow and ice were all clumped to the side of the road and sidewalks so it was easier for cars and people to get to their destinations easier.  _

_ Everything still felt the same aside from it obviously not being the same. Even though the town was still small and most of the residents were there, it was different.  _

_ As I was walkin' down the street, I found the first place I got beat up for stealing some food. It was before I'd started applying for jobs and damn, did I get my ass beat. Lost a few baby teeth a couple of times for stealing, too. Thought I'd lose my hands at some point, but I'd managed to get away from the fucker who'd caught me.  _

_ I eventually made it to that house.  _

_ My house. _

_ I hadn't even noticed the path I'd been following till I looked up and saw it. It was still broken down and tiny. Literally only had three rooms-- Well technically two. One living area that was used as the kitchen and bedroom and one bathroom. The place was fallin' apart and it looked like nobody had stepped in the place for years.  _

_ For a long time, I just stared at it from the outside. I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted to go in it; didn't know if I wanted the suppressed feelings from the place to re-emerge so suddenly even though it had been years since I'd last been there. Eventually, I made up my mind and swallowed a lump down my throat as I took a step inside. _

_ There wasn't a front door anymore and most of the windows had been cracked. The dark colored wood creaked beneath my feet as I slowly walked around the living room. The place didn't smell very good thanks to the wood probably moldin' or some animal had probably died in it. That didn't bother me too much, though. I stopped in the middle of the living room and just spun in a circle real slow, took in all the old surroundings with an odd, tight feeling in my chest. The curtains were wet and molded and had lost all the red color they'd had when I was kid. They'd turned into a mixture of brown and green instead. The fireplace still had old firewood in it, there was a single mattress still lying in the far left corner close to one of the windows and a small couch was leaning against the far wall for support, but the floor had fallen in underneath it. So half of the couch was partially stuck through the floor. I'd walked over to the bed and pulled one of the blankets up to look it over. My eyes landed on the neat, sewn writing that was my name. _

_ Jake Muller. _

_ Feeling unwanted stinging in my eyes, I tossed it to the ground and turned away from it to walk into the kitchen area. The tiled flooring was cracked, hell tiles were fuckin' missing, and everything was just as I had left it. There was still a friggin' pot on the back, right eye on the stove and the table was set with plates and silverware on the small, wooden table. From my spot beside the fridge, I stared at the table and for a few seconds, I could see me and my mom seated at the table, laughing and eating dinner she'd made for us. The sunny, brightness of the image and the warmth that came from it disappeared after a moment and it was replaced with the empty, snow covered seats and table.  _

_ An empty feeling filled me when I walked to the bathroom and I looked around. A wall was mostly missing, but other than that everything was still there. The mirror above the sink was cracked, the toilet and bathtub had ivy growin' on them, and snow also covered different spots of the room. I left and went back into the living room and stood in the middle again. Everywhere I'd look, I saw flashes of me an' my mom doin' different things.  _

_ On the couch, we were foldin' laundry and I'd be makin' fun of her underwear. _

_ In the left corner, I'd be huddled up next to Mom while she was tellin' me about how great of a man my father was and how he loved me. _

_ Back on the couch, Mom was reading a bedtime story like Beauty and The Beast, Little Red Riding Hood, or some other silly fairytale.  _

_ In another, I was running from Mom as she chased me in a circle, both of us laughin' and gigglin' our heads off.  _

_ As more and more memories filled my mind, I just remember closing my eyes, desperate to keep the warm, happy feeling in my chest. I didn't wanna lose it. I felt my chest getting tighter and tighter, the stinging in my eyes came back, and I felt my lower lip start to tremble as my eyebrows furrowed.  _

_ First thing that came to my mind was the word "Shit." 'Cause I knew what was comin' mext as much as I fuckin' hated it.  _

_ I'd opened my eyes and turned around to look at the mattress again. I cleared my throat when I saw somethin' hidden beneath the wood panels. I ignored the disturbing feelin' in me and was pretty damn surprised to find a little box hidden underneath the floor, beneath the area of the mattress. I had to move the mattress out of the way, and damn did it smell bad and I got pricked a few times by loose springs, and it took me a minute to get the flooring torn up. Grabbed the box as I sat down and I put it between my legs. The box was black and pretty small, probabaly an old box used when stores put shoes in it.  _

_ I took the lid off and there were a lot of little trinkets and envelopes in it. I took out a silver necklace that had one of those lockets on it and I opened the locket. There was a baby photo of me on one aside and another of me being a little older on the other side. I had chuckled a little seeing myself as an ugly ass, chubby baby and closed the locket and put it inside the inside of the top of the box (I'd put the lid upside down on the ground). Found a few wads of cash, some stones I remember I'd found in the nearby river (which took me hours to get 'cause the water was fuckin' cold), and a silver ring with a white diamond implanted into the top of it. It wasn't a fancy ring and I remember my mom used to wear it all the time.  _

_ At one point, I'd asked her if dad had given it to her and she told me, "No, this was my mother's-- your grandmother's wedding ring. She gave it to me before she died." She'd knelt down, put a hand on my shoulder, and showed me the ring a little closer and said to me, "When you want to get married, I want you to give this to your fiancé, okay?" She'd laughed at me when I made a silly, disgusted face at the word married.  _

_ I put the ring with the other stuff I'd looked at and began to look at the envelopes. Pulled one out and found a bunch of old photos of me and mom. Ones where I was a baby, others when I was a toddler. Some had me trying my first foods, others had me swingin at the playground for the first time or throwing snowballs and other shit mom thought was cute. I carefully slipped the photographs back into the envelope and found a tons of letters Mom had written, which had been sent back to her, along with letters from Wesker. I just got pissed readin' only a few sentences from those, so I tossed 'em to the side. At the very bottom of the box was a letter with a wilted lily tied to it.  _

_ I pulled the lily and string off of it and opened the letter. When I read the date my heart clenched. It was written a few days after she'd gotten sick, before she had lost herself and became delusional. The more I kept reading, the more shitty I felt.  _

"My dearest heart,

Jake, I love you so much and I am so proud of you. You have done such a good job with taking care of mommy. I'm so sorry for not being a good enough mother. I'm so sorry for getting sick and not being able to take care of you like I should. I am so so sorry for having to leave you like this... Please, if you can find it in your heart, please forgive me and please don't hate your father. I know he hasn't been around, but he has been working hard to take care of us, in his own way. He's sent us a large amount of money to help me get better, but I have hidden it and saved it for you to go to school. I'm sure he loves you and is thinking of you everyday he is forced to be at work, and I know that you two will find one another someday. Stay strong, my little soldier.

I love you.

-Mommy"

_ I hadn't realized I'd been cryin' till I saw the tears drop onto the paper. I glanced around and everything was blurry because of them. It was hard to breathe, my nose was stuffy as hell, and I got a migraine from all the crying I was doin'. I didnt let out a sound, though. I stayed in there, clutched the letter to my chest, ballin' my eyes out for a good hour or so. I actually dunno how long I was in there, but that's how long it felt like... _

_ I haven't cried in years. _

_ It felt good to finally do it, I think. _

_ Fuck... _

_ Just thinkin' about it all makes m... _

_ 《  _ There are spots in the ink where they have been blotched out or spread by drops of water. _ 》 _

_ After I got the stuff together, I got a lily from the flower store and walked to my mom's grave. I put the flower on there and just talked with her for a while.  _

_ I told her everything that had happened. _

_ I told her about how I was a merc, how I'd met Sherry, how I finally found out who dad was... I also apologized to her so many times for not being with her when she passed. I told her that I missed her and I loved her.  _

_ I'm back in my motel room and I think I'm gonna head back to the states.  _

_ This is completely unrelated, but... I think I wanna tell Sherry about her and everything that happened. Not right now, but someday. Yeah. I think it's only fair that she told me about her parents, I should tell her about mine. _

_ Alright. Time for some shut eye. Gotta get plane tickets and shit for tomorrow. _

_ Jake" _

_ 《  _ On the back of the page, there is an extra portion written _. 》 _

_ "I checked to see how much money my asshole of a father sent mom.  _

_ Fifty million dollars. _

_ Fuckin' unbelievable." _


	5. Chapter 5

_December 25th, 2019_

_"It's one fifteen in the morning._

_The sound of a Christmas carol playing on the radio and the chatter of other people in the background fills my ears as I sit here, sippin' away at a bottle of apple cider. It's not as bitter as most types of alcohol and it's sweet against my tongue, kinda like an actual apple. It doesn't give me that sting on my throat or warm feeling in my gut like whiskey does, though. Haven't had apple cider in a long while and it makes me kinda happy to have it. I'm used to havin' cheapo beer on my days off._

_I'm back in the states and happened to come by a bar to grab a drink a few minutes ago. Decided to sit by the long, large window and I keep lookin' outside. It's dark aside from the street lights and headlights of cars passin' by on the street. I see couples walkin' down the sidewalk with smiles, holdin' hands, and pecking each other on the lips. Mushy shit..._

_Though the thing that catches my eye the most is the snow that slowly falls to the ground. You'd think I'd be tired of snow since I lived in it for most of my life, but nah. I still love it. Somethin' about snow just calms my nerves; kinda soothes me...Idunno. I love cold weather._

_Anyway, it's Christmas day and I thought most shops and establishments would be closed for it, but not this place. It's still open 'cause the owner says he lives here and doesn't have anything better to do. Though they do close in a couple of hours, which is fine by me. I'll be gone before then._

_Christmas..._

_I haven't celebrated Christmas in years._

_After my mom died, I just didn't see the point in bothering with it, or any holiday for that matter. Didn't give a shit 'bout 'em, not even my birthday. I just realized, this'll be the first Christmas I've actually kinda looked forward to and done somethin' about in sixteen years... Holy shit. Well, can't be helped since I didn't care about it back then. The past seven years, Supergirl has asked me to come over and celebrate it with her and I had told her I don't believe in it and shit. For seven years...I refused to spend a holiday with her. She'd always sounded pretty sad over the phone when we talked about it and I'd felt real guilty. We even wrote letters and everytime it was close to some holiday, she'd asked me to come spend it with her and I still came up with some excuse, said I was busy with a job or somethin' similar. She asked me to come over again 'bout a month ago and I gave her the same answer I've given her the past seven years._

_..._

_Finished my cider and paid for the bill. Gonna have to put this journal up so I can get movin'. I've got a pretty blonde waitin' for me at her apartment and I'll have to walk through the snow to get there. She's gonna be so surprised to see me and possibly pissed since I'm gonna most likely be wakin' her up. It is pretty late, but my flight got delayed. So fuck it. Gonna spend Christmas with her and I even got her a few presents. I couldn't decide on what to get her. Couldn't decide on only one thing, so..._

_In the end, I got her a small bouquet of lillies (I fuckin' hate roses), a silver necklace with her birthstone hangin' from it, a DVD and another version of that fairy-tale she likes so much, and a big pack of her favorite type of leaf water. I know she won't have anything for me, but I don't really care. I'll be happy seeing her face. That's the best present I could ever get 'cause I haven't seen her in a long time. Yeah, it's the only thing I've wanted, seeing her again._

_Ready or not, here I come, Supergirl._

_....._

_Yeah, she was pretty pissed at me when I woke her up, but when she realized who I was, that grumpy expression changed real quick. 'Fore I could even open my mouth, I was bein' hugged and I 'bout lost my balance 'cause of the weight of the two travel bags I had been carryin'. I'm glad I got fast reflexes 'cause I was able to catch us on the wall behind me and I dropped the bag I was holding to give her a hug back. It was a half-assed hug, but I don't really do hugs... Plus I don't think I deserve one after everything I put Sherry through, but she just held onto me for a long time and I didn't let her go, either. ...I was afraid to 'cause I thought if I let her go, then she might disappear into thin air and I thought I'd wake up from a good dream like I always did._

_We seperated and she grabbed the bag I had dropped and practically pulled me inside after I told her she should get inside before she froze her ass off. We talked for a bit and then went to bed; I slept on her couch. She let me sleep in for a long time-- It was around twelve in the afternoon before I woke up again and she had been awake before me. She made me a late brunch of pancakes, bacon, sunny-side eggs, and biscuits. They were all leftovers from when she went to an iHop and she messed up making scrambled eggs, but I ate like a goddamn pig. I mean I was pretty hungry. The entire time we talked and ate, she just looked at me with a goofy grin._

_It's about one thirty right now and I'm about to give her the presents. I am kinda nervous 'cause Idunni if she'll even like 'em... Oh well. Hopefully things go well._

_..._

_Sherry fuckin' loved the gifts and she even gave me a few. Turns out she has been saving presents for me over the years I wasn't able to come over... She got me a thick, red scarf, toboggan, a hunting knife, and some boots. I was pretty happy to get those gifts, but seeing her is enough for me. I wouldn't trade this in the world. Seeing her makes my chest flutter, if that even makes sense, and I'm a happy man._

_It's been a while since I've felt happy._

_I'm gonna try to come see Sherry on holidays from now on 'cause this feeling is great and seeing her smile makes me real happy._

_Merry Christmas._

_Jake"_


	6. Chapter 6

_ January 19, 2020 _

  
  


_ "I'm not really sure what to write today. _

_... _

_ I take that back-- there actually is somethin' I wanna write about. Somethin' that's been eating at me lately. There's somethin' I never told Sherry after we met back up and escaped that facility in China. I thought it might make her upset, so I never got to tellin' her... but now, I think I'm startin' to regret it.  _

_ When we were first separated, I was pissed off at the world 'cause that prick, Ustanak had hurt her. Smacked her right across the face with the back of his hand and I had reacted too late and couldn't help her. Then shit hit the fan and I was on the ground. Was knocked out after that bitch in the blue dress told me who my father was. _

_ When I came to, I was bein' dragged down a white hallway-- everything in that damn place was white-- and my head hurt like a bitch. Made sense 'cause that B.O.W. was a friggin' huge fucker. Anyway, my head spun and my vision was blurry and I remember they tossed me in some room to sterilize me, threw on a pair of white, thin pants on me, and then put me in my holding cell. I was in and out throughout the entire process and when I finally woke up for good, I tried everything to get the hell out of there.  _

_ I'd never admitted it 'till now, but I was worried about Sherry.  _

_ Didn't give a damn about myself the first few days. I just kept demanding where she was, told those masked fuckers if they laid any hands on 'er that I'd break all their limbs and shove 'em up their asses. My insults and threats didn't do me any good, though. Everytime I tried to escape, I'd get the shit beat outta me. Sometimes I thought I was gonna die, hell I was probably close to it, but they kept me alive just 'cause of my special blood type dear old dad gave me. I bet they would've killed me if it weren't for that one thing. I'd probably have as many eyeballs in my head as those assholes and was growin' freaky shit right about now if it wasn't for my fuckin' special-ass blood type. _

_ After the first month, I finally quit, deciding that if I wanted to make it outta there, I'd have to play along. I'd done that song and dance before and knew that they'd get whatever they wanted and when they thought I was finally done getting the rough treatment, finally gave up, they'd never expect me to try to break out. It was only a matter of time and I'd wait as long as I had to in order to get Sherry and break us outta that hell hole. _

_ I heard a lot of shit while I was locked up in that waste of space called a room.  _

_ 'Wesker's blood was immune to a bunch of viruses.' _

_ 'Wesker was delusional trying to take over the world.' _

_ 'Wesker was a god.' _

_ 'Albert Wesker this' and 'Albert Wesker that.' _

_ 'Wesker Wesker Wesker' was all they yapped about and I got fuckin' tired of it. _

_ Yeah, they talked about him. A-lot.  _

_ Too much if ya ask me. _

_ He wasn't the only one they spoke about, though. They also talked about some guy named William Birkin and from my deduction, I guessed that was Sherry's old man. I found out a little bit about him; a bit more than what Supergirl had told me back in that cabin. He was the creator of a virus called the G-Virus and he injected himself with it to live. That shit backfired on him real quick and, like Sherry said, he had mutated so much that he wasn't even recognizable. I was able to catch a few photos of him after he had mutated and damn, he was ugly. Seemed like he had, like, stages to mutations-- Kinda like a butterfly or some shit. Evolving every few hours or somethin' like that.  _

_ I saw a photo of her as a kid...  _

_ I gotta admit, even then she was a cute little thing.  _

_ Damn, that must've sucked having to go through all that scary shit as a kid. Even someone like me has heard of the Raccoon City incident and it never got my attention 'till I met her. She must've been terrified with the zombies roamin' 'round and her own dad tried to impregnate her with a fuckin' virus? Found out her own mother didn't even try to help her. Just left her wherever, all alone. I was disgusted and pissed when I found that shit out. If I'd been there, I'd have helped her out and gotten her outta that place.  _

_ Yeah right. I would've shit my pants if I'd been there. I'm fuckin' younger than her-- ...Dammit. I just realized I'm younger than Sherry.  _

_ Fuuuuuuck. _

  
  


_... _

_.... _

  
  


_ Anyway, I think I'm gonna let her know about me hearin' more stuff about her and her family. I wanna make sure she is comfortable talkin' about it, though. Hell, I'll even tell her stuff about me when I was little. I'll do whatever makes her feel like it's easier to talk with me, but if she doesn't wanna talk about her family or past, then I'll just drop the subject. _

_ Well, I guess that's it for now.  _

_ I think I'm gonna hop in the shower. Feelin' dirty just thinkin' about all that shit we went through and hearing Sherry's past without her consent. Makes me feel like I invaded her privacy.  _

__

_ Jake" _


	7. Chapter 7

_February 14, 2020_

_"I just woke up from a really strange dream._

_In the dream, I was in some place that was white, but had a grey-pink tint to it and there was nothin' around me. It was an empty space with the sight ahead me was a brighter color, close to white. The ground kinda looked like a water mirror, made splashing sounds whenever I took a step on it. In middle of this nothingness, someone suddenly appeared, kinda slowly appeared some ahead of me and then my body started to move on its own. I was runnin' after them as they walked away from me and a weird calmness was radiating off of 'em. I had my hand reached out, 'bout to grab the person's shoulder, and then the ground fell out from underneath me. I felt my gut clench as I fell backwards and down into a black abyss and right before the hole closed up, that person had peeked over the edge an' smiled at me._

_For a few minutes, I just kept falling, wondered why the hell I hadn't died yet from landing on the floor. It was like my subconscious heard my thoughts an' I was falling backwards through a clear pool of water. I even felt the water on me and suddenly I was falling upright and when I opened my eyes, I was just standin' in front of a house. There was a light rain and I was confused as fuck as I stood there, in front of the unfamiliar home. The sky was covered by some thick, blue-grey clouds and they didn't allow the sunlight to filter through 'em at all. I had the rain fallin' on me and when I kept lookin' around, I heard a feminine voice speak up from to my upper left._

_"Oh, Jake! Why are you not standing under the umbrella?"_

_My shoulders were grabbed and I was softly, but firmly turned around to face the woman and my heart stopped._

_It was my mom._

_I just stood there, confused, as she knelt down to my height and began to wipe away the water on my face and she readjusted my coat. As I stared at her, she said somethin' about me bein' such a strange boy, standin' in the rain without an unbrella. She still looked the same... Had strawberry hair tied up in a low ponytail, big brown eyes with maturity and love, and a pair of plump, pink lips. She had on some makeup and it outlined her features a lot and she wore a white turtleneck, a brown leather jacket, blue jean pants, and black boots. A big, brown leather purse hung from her left shoulder and she adjusted it some before she spoke up again. I didn't really hear what she said, though, too caught up in how she was in front of me, lookin' so healthy... Mom never wore makeup unless she had to._

_She put a hand on my face and lightly rubbed her thumb on my cheek and when she finally noticed my expression, she looked a bit worried and asked if I was alright. Idunno how I didn't cry, seein' her, but I didn't really care. I wrapped my arms 'round her neck and she just hugged me back._

_"Jake... Honey, are you okay?"_

_"Y-Yeah... I'm okay, Ma."_

_She just hugged me back for a few minutes, stood up, and asked me if I was just nervous 'bout meeting with Sherry and Claire. I told her no, that I wasn't, and that I was glad to be going anywhere with her. She then told me to check an' see if I I brought everything in my backpack and hell, I didn't even realize I had one. I pulled the straps off my shoulders and as Ma held the umbrella over me, I unzipped it and was pretty surprised to see that I'd had some stuff in it. I found a lily and a little card in a red envelope inside, as well as a stuffed bear, some fort of gun toy-- one of thos plastic jobs-- some box full of snacks, and two walkie talkies. I quickly zipped the bag and slung it my shoulder with ease and looked up at my mother with a small nod._

_It was weird. I thought I would've been a lot taller and my body kinda just moved on its own most of the dream. I mean, I could control myself sometimes, but I was mostly there for the ride. Like in every other dream, you know?_

_Anyway, we walked inside and were greeted by the lady named Claire and I remembered that Sherry had told me that she was Redfield's little sister. I'd never met her in real life, never seen her before, but somehow she didn't look anything like how I'd imagined her. She was taller than me and 'bout an inch shorter than my mom. She had long red hair tied up in a ponytail, blue eyes, and a real bright personality. She was real nice to me and my mom and while they talked, I just walked away and down the hallway. Found the bathroom and walked inside and I could barely see the top of my head over the god damn sink. I was fuckin' short and ended up havin' to pull the nearby kiddy stool over just so I could look over the damn thing._

_I was pretty shocked when I found my young, ten year old self starin' back at me in the mirror. I didn't have any scars, by eyes were bigger, and my hair was just a tad bit longer than my usual hair cut. It ain't my favorite, but whatever. My mom always wanted me to grow my hair out a bit and I guess my subconscious was doin' its thing for the memory. I hopped off the stool and my body took me down the rest of the hallway and I peeked inside a few rooms. It didn't take me long, but I found Sherry in what I guess is her bedroom and she looked a little upset._

_Actually, she was cryin.'_

_Idunno how deal with cryin'-- especially when it's women cryin'. That makes it worse for me and I hate it._

_I just slowly opened the door and crept inside, stopped movin' till I sat beside her on her bed. Sherry was younger, too, and she looled like how she had in the photo I saw back in China. I was silent for a long time till I finally sucked in a breath and asked her what was wrong. She told me that she missed her parents and I was quiet for a few seconds. My mouth an' voice moved on their own and I told her that it was okay for her to cry and miss her parents. I told her how I missed my dad and hoped he was doin' okay at work and I guessed it was normal to miss people who weren't with._

_I hopped off the bed, knelt down by my pack, and pulled out the box of snacks and set it on the floor. Then I pulled out the stuffed teddy bear and handed it to her, told her that I got the toy back from that kid who'd stolen it from her a few weeks back. After she took it, I took out the lily and red envelope and held them out to her, obviously embarrassed as fuck. My face was all hot and red and I muttered out a 'Happy Valentine's Day.'_

_My heart beat real fast in my chest as I waited for her response and I couldn't look at her in the eyes. I just kept mine on my little boots and muttered out a few things 'bout how even thoufh she lost her parents, I'd still be there to help her out and when we got older I was gonna protect her and.... and, I can't believe I even said it... I was gonna marry her and make her really happy. I told her that I was gonna make sure that she didn't cry anymore and that she was gonna get whatever she wanted no matter what._

_I can barely remember what I wrote in that letter. I think it was somethin' along these lines:_

_"Dear Sherry,_

_I like your blonde hair and your face is real pretty. I like how you are very kind and you are the best girl in the world and I hope that we can get married one day. I will keep protecting you no matter what and I hope you like the flower. It's a lily and my favorite. Sorry I didn't get you a rose. Also you are an awesome supergirl because of your super powers. You won't have to worry about bullies when I am around!_

_Happy Valentine's Day._

_I like-like you._

_Like-Like,_

_Jake"_

_It was cringy and all over the fuckin' place, but then again, I was ten in that dream. So I guess the mistakes kinda make sense. Ha._

_Before she could finish reading it, ten year old dream me stole a smooch from her before hurriedly scoopin' up my shit and high tailin' it outta the room. Claire had yelled at us that dinner was ready and I just went straight to the couch and put my things away. My face was as red as a tomatoe, but I was really happy I gave her presents and a kiss for the lovey dovey day. Right before my dream ended, I remember getting up and we sat at the table to start eating some sort of pasts with toast and somethin' else._

_Then I woke up._

_Like I've said a few times before, I've never been one for holidays._

_Idunno how to celebrate 'em and I am just awkard as fuck when it comes to dealin' with other people when I gotta attend parties and shit. I think the reason why I had this dream was cause little ten year old me, or my subconscious is tellin' me to grow a fuckin' pair and tell Sherry how I feel about her..._

_I can't do it, though._

_I'm too... Idunno scared of... rejection? Nah, not that. I'm scared of ruining our friendship. She's really the only person I care about and who I keep in touch with and who I really trust. I trust her with my life and I would gladly give it away if she asked me to. I'd do anything for Sherry and I really do hope that one day she will be happy and livin' a life full of joy._

_I can't give her that._

_She needs someone...someone better than me. Someone who can make her happy, give her everything she wants, and takes care of her. Someone who isn't a killer. My hands are always gonna be stained with blood no matter how many times I wash 'em and I'm just... I'm not... She really needs someone better than me._

_Most of the time I think of how I don't deserve her or her friendship. I still think of how she is going to up and leave me like the rest of the people in my life._

_I've always been a selfish bastard and it's pretty funny how I don't wanna be selfish now. ...Actually maybe I will be a little selfish, just for today. I'm still in the states for another two hours, maybe I can leave her a little gift. Y'know since it's another stupid holiday._

_Yeah, I might do that._

_Dunno what I'm gonna get her, but I'll just wing it._

_....._

_...Hopefully she likes what I got 'er._

_Wish me luck._

_Jake"_

_《°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°》_

_《_ Jake has left a single postcard with three, white lillies on Sherry's doorstep _. 》_

 _《_ Will you read the postcard? _》_

_"Sup, Supergirl._

_I hope you've been stayin' safe and enjoying life. Bet yer still drinkin' that leaf water of yours, huh? Anyway, I just wanted to give you a little somethin' for the holiday. If you were expectin' a kiss, sorry. I don't really do the lovey dovey shit. It ain't me. If it really bothers you not to get one from me, I'll letcha gimme one the next time we see eachother, but you'll have to pay for it. Heh._

_I hope you have a good Valentine's Day._

_Stay safe and don't do anything stupid, yeah?_

_Jake"_


	8. Chapter 8

_May 1, 2020_

_"Man, it's been a while since I've last written anything in this thing, huh? Been busy doing what I do best. If ya don't know me, then I'll tell ya what that is; killin' shit. I don't really kill as many people as I used to, though. Just the pricks who think they own the world and can treat other people like their playthings or experiments and shit like that. I'm not meaning to write about killing-- I'm writing somethin' else entirely._

_Today is a special day, actually..._

_It's my mom's birthday._

_Yep. Today is the day the beautiful, strong woman who is my mom was born. Pretty great, huh? If she hadn't been born, then I wouldn't be sittin' here. Kinda makes me wonder what my grandparents looked like. Never got to meet them, either. Eh, oh well. Can't be bothered too much by it, right?_

_Anyway, today is all 'bout Ma._

_I can't really remember how old she would be if she was still alive, but I'm gonna guess in her mid forties. ...Maybe a bit younger. I bet she'd have a darker shade of red hair with some silver strands she'd freak out about. 'Cause, y'know, women freak out when they see silver in their hair when they aren't too old. Heh. I'd make her wear somethin' nice to go out in the town in, like that blue dress with white frills underneath. It had a collar and long sleeves. She'd sometimes wear leggings or tights underneath it to keep her legs warm, a pair of brown boots, and that long brown coat she'd always use. I think it was her favorite coat. Maybe she'd wear some makeup 'cause I remember she looked real pretty with it on. She used to wear powder, with a thin line of black eyeliner, and blue or red eyeshadow-- whatever color went with the outfit she decided to wear-- and some lip balm or pink lipstick._

_I'd take her wherever she wanted to go eat and since I got more than enough money to spend now, I'd make sure she got everything she ever wanted._

_Ya want that pasta you like with a medium rare steak? You can have it._

_Want some fancy food like the big wigs eat-- like lobster or somethin'? You got it, mom._

_Strawberry short cake? You better believe I'm getting you cake on yer birthday._

_We could go to the movies so she can watch that one film she wanted to see, but never could 'cause I was too young. What was the name of it...? I can't remember, but we'd go see it._

_If she wanted to go to the park and just chill, we'd do that, too. She'd take me out there to feed or look at the ducks all the damn time. I actually named every single damn duck and I betcha I could pick every single one out if I went there right now. She'd always get tickled at me for greeting every single duck and I couldn't leave 'till I had said hello, or good morning, good bye to all of 'em. I'd throw a tantrum, or cry if I didn't get to._

_Anyway, I think I'd take her shopping next. Yeah, to make sure she gets enough clothes to keep herself warm. Blankets, too. I'd want her to pick out whatever clothes she liked, though she used to look a somethin', pull it from the wrack, and hold it against the front of her so she could see if it would look good. Then she'd put it back since we didn't have much money to spare. When I got a little older after I started actually workin' and when she first started showing signs if that sickness, anytime she'd do that, I always imagined and told myself that once I had enough money, I was gonna buy every single thing she'd pull out and put away. Then I'd take it all home and give it to her. I can already imagine the surprised look on her face... She'd be surprised, then get mad at me for spendin' so much money, then she'd get all happy and try everything on in the bathroom._

_When night time would come, I'd take her on a joy ride on my bike. Make sure she had a helmet on so she wouldn't get hurt and I'd show her places she hadn't seen before in Endonia. She'd only been able to go to the stores in our little town, her workplace, the parks, and home. So, she deserves to go somewhere a bit different, yeah? We'd go to that one spot where there's a tall hill and a single apple tree at the top and just sit there, munch on a few of those wonderful fruits, and chat for hours, gazing up at the stars. I bet she'd like that..._

_I bet she'd had really... really loved it..._

_She always told me how she'd wanted to go someplace away from Endonia, to explore the world. She said she'd take me with her and we'd get souvenirs from every place we went. France, China, Japan, Korea, Italy, Rome... We would go everywhere and we'd come back home with all our trinkets and shirts and other silly shit to remember our journeys. I guess I've already done that, been all over the world, in a way. Even if it was because of my job. Too bad I don't have anything to really remember those places by other than some more scars, weapons, and shit. I think...I might try to go back to all those places, but not as a merc. Not 'cause of some job. I wanna go back so I can do what mom wanted to do-- just visit places and get little trinkets to remember it by._

_I wonder if Sherry would go with me if I asked her...?_

_Shit-- When is Sherry's birthday?_

_Fuck-- Did I miss it already?!_

_[IC]God, I hope to hell not. I'd feel guilty as fuck and she'd never let it down. I gotta ask her, or that Kennedy guy. Idunno if Redfield would know. I mean, I got his number, but I haven't talked with him since, like, that night he sat me down and told me some shit 'bout my old man. That's for another time._

_Now I gotta figure out when her birthday is so I don't miss it._

_God, I hope I haven't missed it._

_It'd be crazy if Supergirl's birthday was today, huh? Heh heh._

_Alright, Ma, I gotta go now._

_Gonna put this apple an' lily on her grave as a birthday present and make my way back to my motel. Got a long night ahead of me._

**Author's Note:**

> These are from my UNSPOKEN entries on the Resident Evil Amino and I wanted to share them with you guys. This should update at least once a month once the pandemic has subsided. I'll still try to update it when I can.   
> : D
> 
> These journal entries are in first person and it's kind of a challenge for me because in used to writing in third person. Haha. 
> 
> Thank you so much for taking time to read this!
> 
> ♡ Moka


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